I Don't Know When, I Don't Know How...

I am reading a hilarious news report on Haaretz. Actually, I'm not sure it can be called news...or a report. It's more like a scary bedtime story. Basically it says that there was a mysterious explosion in Iran and nobody knows why or how. Plus, the explosion happened a week ago.

Haaretz tries to make it relevant by adding sinister insinuations, but there are no sources listed, even indirect ones, so as a thinking person I must conclude that at this time, the article is nothing more than a rumor in print.

But, for your entertainment, I will show you my favorite parts.

#1:

Western officials told the Telegraph that the Revolutionary Guards had launched an investigation into the cause mystery blast, which apparently took place on July 19.

Western officials? That is hilarious. So basically, anyone who works for any government in one half of the world.

#2:

The Guards are investigating the possibility that the explosion was the result of sabotage, the officials said. There have been a number of unexplained explosions in Iran of late, including on at a mosque in Shiraz during a military exhibition, and another at a missile site.

This could mean oh-so-many things. Is it possible that the writer is trying to insinuate that these mysterious "Western officials" have sabotaged Iranian weapons?

This is really brilliant writing. At this point, the reader believes they know something really incredible! But actually, they are dumber than before they started reading.

Seriously, it takes a word artist to do that.

#3:

Some of the weapons include long-range missiles that are being transfered through flights using Turkey's airspace, as well as overland though Turkey, under the guise of civilian cargo.

Enter the real manipulation. This is a classic example of Israeli knee-jerk reporting. Hezbollah has long-range missiles?! This is every Israeli's worst fear because it means that Israel's previously untouchable urban centers are now vulnerable targets.

But uh...does Hezbollah actually have long-range missiles? "The West" says so:

The West believes Iran has been increasing its military support of Hezbollah recently, in case of a future armed confrontation over its nuclear program.

The only question left is: who originally engineered this scare tactic?