Lola Does Penis Snatching

Um, wow. What year is this? 1985, 1895, 1865? Where are we?

Lynchings are rampant this week in Congo as there have been rumors of sorcerers about who steal or shrink one's penis. My favorite quotes from the article are:

"Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings."

Wait. 8 million people? And they still believe in penis snatching? But I have to see their logic, someone wearing a gold ring but taking a communal taxi must have something wrong with them.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

My psychic prediction is that the world would be a better place if everyone "went home and tried it."

And finally, in the last paragraph of the article, the true anthropological purpose of this rumor is revealed:

""It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station."

Anyone with a small penis now has a legitimate reason.