Well This Makes Me Feel All Warm and Fuzzy

Lots of interesting things are going on over here, news-wise, but your favorite snarkist is neck-deep in finals over here in the holy land and I just don't have time to report on it. But, however, even so, and although...I do find this particular Haaretz article to be important based simply on how it makes me feel inside. It is one of several articles in the Israeli press of late that has speculated on whether there will be a summer war with Lebanon and whether Israel's military is ready for such a war.

The piece says, in part:

Hezbollah tries not to carry out openly military activities in the border area, and in all of south Lebanon for that matter, but reports of heightened activities have recently spiked. A former intelligence officer told Haaretz that lately he and other Galilee farmers have seen plainclothes Hezbollah personnel traveling along the border and photographing Israeli positions.

They are sometimes accompanied by individuals who do not appear to be Lebanese, as well as interpreters, who appear to be Iranian Revolutionary Guards officers and who have by now integrated into every command level in Hezbollah.

Several questions detract from the sheer unpleasantness this extract suggests: How do you know they're Hezbollah if they are in plainclothes? How do individuals appear to not be Lebanese? How do people appear to be interpreters? And finally, how do people appear to be Iranian Revolutionary Guards? If these questions could please be answered to my satisfaction, I could continue on with my goosebump fest, thankyouverymuch.

Iran is Blatant

Back in July of last year, Israel released a handful of prisoners to Hezbollah in exchange for the bodies of two Israeli soldiers. The most prominent of the live prisoners Hezbollah received in the deal was Samir Kuntar, who was convicted in 1979 of murder after a cross border Hezbollah operation killed four Israelis.

The American intelligentsia has known suspected for some time that Iran has been supplying militant group Hezbollah with weapons, funding and soldiers, possibly in an effort to expand its base of support should things come to blows over their nuclear program (source).

That is relevant today because Samir Kuntar got married. (Check out the lucky lady here.) Among the attendees at the wedding were "a delegation appointed by His Eminence Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah" (the head of Hezbollah) and Iranian Ambassador Mohammad Reza Shibani. Oh, and a bunch of media.

As the Kabober's say, "And of course it's not a true Hezbollah function until the Iranian Ambassador shows up."

Oh, and P.S., in the Arabic news report of the wedding, Kuntar is referred to as, "former Dean of the Lebanese prisoners in Israeli jails." No mention of the crime. This is not at all surprising to me because prison time has become a rite of passage for the citizens of Israel's enemy countries. Because of Israel's judicial policies, there is now hardly any distinction between criminals like Kuntar and a 17-year-old boy who is jailed for throwing stones.

US Teaches Israel the Art of Fear

Well folks, Blogger is back in English and the internet is fast, which can only mean one thing: I have returned to the US. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop covering the Middle East. Now, I will be doing it from afar. The first event that has caught my interest since my return is when Israel's Counter Terrorism Bureau issued a warning to Israelis traveling abroad. They claim that Hezbollah is planning to abduct Israelis in foreign countries.

Which is pure fear mongering.

The statement does not mention any countries specifically or reveal sources or any specific method of abduction:

The travel advisory issued Wednesday was a general warning, applicable to the entire world, not any specific travel destinations. Israel does not have specific intelligence regarding the location where Hezbollah plans to attack, but the Counter-Terrorism Bureau said that the militant group was constantly preparing to kidnap Israelis.

Although the statement looks like a bunch of useless baloney, it does serve a purpose. Israelis are notorious globetrotters who often travel for long periods of time and, partly because of this, emigration from Israel has always been a problem. This could be one way for the government to try to stop the leak.

Which still means Israel is taking lessons from the US in using fear to manipulate the populace.

I Don't Know When, I Don't Know How...

I am reading a hilarious news report on Haaretz. Actually, I'm not sure it can be called news...or a report. It's more like a scary bedtime story. Basically it says that there was a mysterious explosion in Iran and nobody knows why or how. Plus, the explosion happened a week ago.

Haaretz tries to make it relevant by adding sinister insinuations, but there are no sources listed, even indirect ones, so as a thinking person I must conclude that at this time, the article is nothing more than a rumor in print.

But, for your entertainment, I will show you my favorite parts.

#1:

Western officials told the Telegraph that the Revolutionary Guards had launched an investigation into the cause mystery blast, which apparently took place on July 19.

Western officials? That is hilarious. So basically, anyone who works for any government in one half of the world.

#2:

The Guards are investigating the possibility that the explosion was the result of sabotage, the officials said. There have been a number of unexplained explosions in Iran of late, including on at a mosque in Shiraz during a military exhibition, and another at a missile site.

This could mean oh-so-many things. Is it possible that the writer is trying to insinuate that these mysterious "Western officials" have sabotaged Iranian weapons?

This is really brilliant writing. At this point, the reader believes they know something really incredible! But actually, they are dumber than before they started reading.

Seriously, it takes a word artist to do that.

#3:

Some of the weapons include long-range missiles that are being transfered through flights using Turkey's airspace, as well as overland though Turkey, under the guise of civilian cargo.

Enter the real manipulation. This is a classic example of Israeli knee-jerk reporting. Hezbollah has long-range missiles?! This is every Israeli's worst fear because it means that Israel's previously untouchable urban centers are now vulnerable targets.

But uh...does Hezbollah actually have long-range missiles? "The West" says so:

The West believes Iran has been increasing its military support of Hezbollah recently, in case of a future armed confrontation over its nuclear program.

The only question left is: who originally engineered this scare tactic?